Until It's Gone
by CullenGirl968
Summary: What happens when the world succumbs to a horrible disease, leaving only one small "family" alive? A good fanfic, thats what. Follow the stories of two young lovers living past the end of the earth.
1. Confusion

_(My first fanfic- please enjoy!)_

Chapter 1: Confusion

I wasn't sure if it was the beginning or the end. Some logical corner of my brain told me that I was thinking, almost coherent, so it couldn't be the end, could it? But it sure as hell didn't _feel_ like the end. Wasn't the end supposed to hurt? I searched the blackness for any part of me that pain. I came up blank.

This made me curious; where were my limbs? Where was anything? Where was _I?_ Arrgh! I was so confused. I needed to calm down, to think logically. Question one: how did I get here? Easy enough; I'd fallen. But how could I fall, with no body? This was so unfair! I wasn't made to think like this. Maybe I should put more effort into the "calm" part. I was probably too riled up to think straight. Huh, riled up. That rang a bell. Riled up, riled… Riley!

In a split second, the whole world spun into focus. Of course it wasn't the end. Of _course_. I was unconscious. Ah, Riley. I still couldn't find my eyes or lips to tell him my epiphany. That wasn't too good. I called out in my head for this name, this person. Maybe he could help. Then again, if he was like me, could he do anything?

Sighing (or at least the mental equivalent of a sigh), I realized that I didn't believe the answer was no. If I was being honest (which was really a moot point considering the circumstances I was in), I wanted more than anything to have another head, a voice, _something_, in my half-crazy mind. How pathetic. Then again, if I was really stuck in here, was it too much to ask for a little company?

I sighed again. Maybe I was wrong. What if I was in a coma? Wow, that would really stink. But weren't you supposed to hear voices when you were in a coma? I didn't hear anything. There was probably something wrong with my brain. Another sigh.

That sharp focus I had felt accompanying Riley's name was fading. More than that, it was dying. I chanted the name in my head, desperate to find the same strange, epiphany-like nostalgia that had made me see sense before. Nothing happened.

A sudden fierce wave of emotion came with this fact. First, I was angry. Who was this person, this Riley, who had given me so much hope and insight, just to pull it all out from under me? Then, frustration; was I so weak that I couldn't even claim my own body without the help of some untrustworthy name, which didn't even work? Next, worry; what if I couldn't pull out of this blindness? What would that do to those I had known and loved in another, less confusing world? What would that do to Riley? Another bout of anger and frustration came with his name, but also a surrendered wave of despair, for I knew I couldn't stay mad at him for long. That was confusing. Why couldn't I hate him?

After that was over, I waited for a second to make completely sure that all of the emotions had run their course. I hadn't been expecting that. Emotions were so much stronger when you didn't have the other five senses to balance them out.

The worry did capture my attention, though. The need to find a way out of this blackness suddenly was my number one priority. Riley had very nearly done it, but not quite. What I needed now was another name, a stronger one. One that would never leave me, dead or alive, unconscious or not. There had to have been _someone_ like that before all this. I thought as hard as I could, searching for the name that was my ticket out of this mess.

Then, with a ringing clarity, my thoughts came together. My limbs fell into place around my torso, my eyes, lips, ears, and nose finding their way onto my face. There was no epiphany this time, just the sense that this clarity had always been there, waiting or the name that was the key to unlock the door it hid behind. Now, that door swung wide open, and the senses that came with it were dizzying. They filled up every corner of my mind.

The air around me (my body, not just the confines of my mind anymore) had a slightly metallic taste to it, like rain, though I didn't feel any drops. I was lying on what felt like a patch of damp earth. Judging by the dull ache I my back, I had been laying there for a while. The air smelled like pine and maple. As if to ascertain my luck was real, my eyes snapped open to show me the rocky roof of a small cave.

"Charlotte," I breathed.


	2. Charlotte

Chapter 2: Charlotte

The sound of a person breathing next to me, who I had just realized was there, stopped at the sound of my voice. After a few seconds, a relieved sigh reverberated off the walls of the cave, breaking the silence. The voice that followed was one that I would recognize anywhere; deep, but still gentle like a seventeen-year-old's should be.

"Amber? Was that you?" Despite my immense relief to hear that voice, it hadn't told me what I needed to hear. I tried to sit up, but my head spun violently and I fell back down. Laying on my back, I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. After a moment, I felt like I was able to talk.

"Where is Charlotte?" I clarified, a little louder this time. Riley's following reply did not answer my question.

"Oh, Amber, honey, you're awake." Footsteps came towards me as I grit my teeth. I was actually getting kind of pissed. Why wouldn't he answer me?

"Where," I asked, opening my eyes again. Riley seemed to understand me this time.

"She'll be back in a little while, don't worry," he said. I sighed. At least she was safe. I struggled to get up again, wanting to see Riley. This time, his arms supported my back when I fell and slowly eased me into a sitting position. I turned to look at his face.

I was blown away by the beauty of it, as I always was. His hair was short and bleach-blonde, crowning his perfect face. His eyes were green emeralds, his nose straight, with soft lips curved into a gentle smile. My heart stopped beating at the sight of it, and then started up again at twice the speed. Every time I looked at him, it always felt like the first.

His face, however beautiful, could not hold my attention for long. I was curious; where was I? How long had I been out? I looked around. I was, as I had thought, in a large cave. There was a small makeshift firepit in the center and two cots near the far wall. I frowned. Why wasn't I on a cot? Next to the cots, an entire side of the cave was open to a misty green forest made thick vegetation.

My head spun dizzyingly at the sight of it all.

"Where?" was all I could force from my lips.

"Somewhere in Vermont," he answered, "I can't give you a specific town though, sorry." I thought that over for a second. Vermont. Huh. Last time I remembered we had been in New Hampshire. Had they carried me all that way? Wow, that was impressive.

"S'all right." I mumbled. He laughed a bright, care free sound. I remembered how much I loved that laugh.

"It is quite nice, isn't it?" He asked as he propped me up on the wall. Too tired to talk, I nodded closing my eyes. I felt terrible.

"Why?" I wondered aloud. Misinterpreting my question he answered,

"We wouldn't just leave you there, Ams." I shook my head and opened my eyes.

"What a headache." I moaned.

"Yeah." Answered Riley. "The wanderer hit you pretty bad. You have no idea how sorry I am that I wasn't there to help you. But Charlotte's arm…there was so much blood she was about to pass out and I can't carry both of you…" A crease was forming between his eyebrows, as it always did when he was worried. I silenced him by putting a feeble finger on his lips.

"I'm glad you saved Charlotte. You can't be everywhere at once. You shouldn't blame yourself." I said. He shook his head and said,

"Seeing you there, lying helpless… it nearly killed me." His voice broke at the end.

"And Charlotte?" I asked. His eyes turned soft.

"She's fine. Her arm is in a sling right now but she'll be able to use it again soon. She worries about you though." My poor baby. She was sad and it was all my fault.

Suddenly, the trees outside shook. Riley stood up.

"Charlotte?" He asked.

The girl who stepped out of the trees was everything I needed to see right now. She was almost nine years old, with shoulder length brown hair and brilliant hazel eyes. Her right arm was cradled in a sling. My Charlotte. I sat up on my elbows to see her better. Her response was to drop the wood I realized she had been carrying and run to my side.

She was not my daughter, she was my niece. Obviously, at age 17, I was way too young to mother a nine-year-old. My older brother had been her father before he had been taken over by the infection last year. When we had realized what had happened, Riley and I had taken Charlotte and run.

She threw her good arm around my neck, crying, "Amber!" and nuzzled her face in my hair.

"Hey, sweetie." I said. We embraced like this for a few seconds, then I pulled her away softly and put my hands on her shoulders, smiling.

"Don't hurt your arm, honey." I said. She pouted adorably.

"I'm fine, Berba. Don't bet worked up about it." She replied, using her special nickname for me. I inspected her damaged arm more closely. It was bandaged up in scraps of slightly bloodstained white fabric and was slung up in a crude sling made of what I guessed was part of a bed sheet. It didn't look infected, thank God, but she shouldn't push her luck. Which reminded me...

"What were you doing outside?" My question made her blush. It was Riley who answered.

"A squirrel made off with some of our chocolate, and apparently she felt the need to gather more firewood." He gestured absentmindedly towards the little makeshift firepit. Nobody felt the need to answer, so we just sat in rejoicing silence for a while. I absentmindedly stroked Charlotte's hair. It was so like her to chase a small animal for chocolate. I stared at Riley, and he gazed back. All three of us were sitting on the cave floor, immersed in our thoughts. I sighed, completely content with the moment.

Sometimes I wondered if it was all a test, just to see if Riley and my relationship could last past the end of humanity. We had lost so much, but we had managed to keep each other. Well, if anything it had made it stronger. Still, I wished this wasn't real.

The half-dead epidemic (or, as Riley called it, the zombie flu) was something straight out of a horror flick. It turned its victims into sickly, sallow-faced, grey-skinned corpses with large, bruise-like shadows under their hard grey eyes. Its strength was its speed. One day, there was a subtitle in the city regional about an unexplained disappearance of some crazy old man, and then overnight the entire city had turned into a seemingly desert ghost town.

The first big hit had been Chicago. Of course, we had all heard the stories on the news; small towns, unrecognizable names like Aurora and Bonfield, disappearing into thin air. But that had been Illinois, and we were in Connecticut. Chicago had been different. We had friend with family in Chicago, links to big businesses. It was a name everybody knew. My own mother had been there on business when the city had collapsed.

Some had been too dumbfounded to run while the epidemic raged on. Next came St. Paul, then Denver, then Albuquerque and Salem. Flights out of California were reaching record numbers. We all lived in fear that we would be next. Nobody had expected the next hit at all: Washington D.C.

The government collapsed. The president and more than half of the congressmen had been turned into bloodthirsty monsters, then infected their hometowns. The disease spread like acid rain, with drops scattering all over the remaining half of the country, burning holes and enlarging them until the entire country was either grey or hiding.

Now, the undead roamed the streets in big cities, which they rarely left. They seemed uncomfortable, frightened even, to leave the towering grey skyscrapers in favor of the unbroken skyline of the wild. Well, at least that was good for us. All we had to do was stick to the woods. Sometimes there were stragglers, though, those who gave up their fear of the wild to satiate their wild thirst.

We had met one recently, which was the reason for my unconsciousness. When they wandered, they met humans. When they met humans, they got violent. People got hurt. Usually, though, they stuck to their land and we stuck to what was left of ours. Riley, Charlotte and I had relocated to the mountains after we had realized the zombies' aversion to wildlife.

I shook my head. When I died, whoever's up there has a lot of explaining to do. Not that I intended on leaving anytime soon…

*******

It was dark outside the cave now. Charlotte had fallen asleep, and Riley and I were sitting together at the mouth of the cave, looking up at the stars. His arm was around me, my head leaning on his shoulder. He lightly stroked my cheek with his thumb. It felt so natural, us being together, like nature had intended it to be that way. Hugged to his side, I felt like a part of me I hadn't known was missing had fallen into place, completing me.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered, trying not to wake Charlotte.

"I was just thinking about how we're the last people on earth." I answered. He smiled.

"And how do you feel outlived humanity?" he asked jokingly. I shrugged and answered,

"It doesn't matter much, as long as I get to keep you." I turned my head to peck his cheek, but he surprised me with a full-on kiss. I threw my arms around his neck, and his slid down to my waist. When we broke apart, we were both gasping for air. I was on his lap, my arms still around his neck. He hugged me tightly to his chest, so close that I could count his heartbeats.

"And you?" I breathed.

"I'd take you over humanity any day." He said. With that, he kissed me again, softer this time, but still enough to get my pulse racing. I buried my face in his chest and took in a deep breath.

"I missed this." He murmured, running his fingers through my hair. Reunion was sweet in the air. I never wanted to let him go. The fact that we were the last couple on earth meant nothing. We were alone. Charlotte was asleep, and nobody was ever going to bother us. I rested my chin on his shoulder. We belonged to each other; it was as simple as that. I would never let him go. My thoughts were betrayed by a yawn.

"You're tired." He stated. I shook my head, but yawned again.

"Sleep," he whispered. "Dream happy dreams, and when you wake I will be here, and we will be together again." I smiled and laid my head on his chest. That did sound nice. With a final yawn, I let the beat of his heart lull me into unconsciousness.

_(P.S.- I am looking for the perfect tile. The one I have now doesn't really fit. PLEASE r&r if you have a suggestion. I am currently on the eighth chapter, but am a slow typer. Thank you for reading, I hope you are enjoying it!)_


	3. Stories

Chapter 3: Stories

I slept free of dreams. When I woke up, I was on a cot. Charlotte was sleeping on the cot next to me, and Riley was on my other side, sleeping on the floor. I yawned and sat up. My head still throbbed a little from the wanderer's blow, but not as much as it had yesterday. Outside the cave, the sun was just rising over the trees. A finger of sunlight touched Riley's face. He blinked and yawned, stretching. When his eyes met my face, He quickly sat up and took both of my hands in his.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty." I said, "You're eager." He smiled sheepishly and answered,

"I thought it was a dream." I pecked his cheek and laughed.

"I'm flattered. Should we make breakfast? Charlotte will be up soon." After we got a fire going and made breakfast Charlotte woke up. I spooned some of the homemade oatmeal into a bowl and put it on the floor next to her cot. Riley and I sat down and started eating.

There turned out to be a lot to do in this little cave. We had to go look for food and firewood often, and we also needed to boil water from a nearby stream to make it clean enough to drink. Our days passed in much the same manner, working by day and talking to Riley at night. He and I were always touching, holding hands as we walked to get water or wood and leaning on each other while we ate. The only time we were separated was when Riley went out to hunt for rabbits or birds.

Riley had said that we could stay here for a while before we had to move again. We were too far out in the mountains, he'd said, for anything to find us here. Our little forest became home. I never thought it would change. Here we were, living past the end of the earth, and we were living better than ever. Going without society had its advantages. Then, about a week later, the change came.

*******

We were all sitting around the fire, eating the rabbit Riley had caught earlier, when there was a shuffle in the woods. We all froze, food halfway to our mouths. I slowly lowered the piece I was about to eat back to my bowl. Riley was wrong, I thought, they found us. Charlotte let out a whimper of fear I turned to Riley and mouthed, "Gun."

He nodded and walked over to the back corner of the cave to get the gun with that same crease between his eyes, trying not to make any sound. Not that it would matter, with the zombie's enhanced hearing. I followed him, our arms intertwined, as did Charlotte, her hazel eyes wide with fear. The thought ran through my head that we would have to leave our cave now that it had been discovered.

Riley released the safety and aimed the gun towards the cave entrance, moving so that he was in front of Charlotte and I. There was another movement in the bushes, closer this time. Riley held his breath and bent his knees ever so slightly to steady himself. With one hand I hugged Charlotte to my side. The other was on Riley's waist. Then another, even closer shuffle came from the bushes. Charlotte whimpered again. I stroked her hair in an effort to calm her and closed my eyes, waiting to see the thing until I absolutely had to. The shuffling grew closer, a few branches snapping. This was it.

I could tell when something had happened, but I did not expect Riley's response. There was a gasp across the cave and a clatter as Riley dropped the gun. No! Don't drop the gun! I thought. I felt Riley straighten under my hand. What was he doing? Charlotte tugged on my arm, and my eyes flew open. Now it was my turn to gasp.

The thing standing in the entrance was not an old, animated corpse. It was a… a human. My jaw dropped open. But… but… but we were the last people on earth! This couldn't be possible! But there he was, standing right in front of us.

"Impossible," I breathed. He looked somewhere near thirty years old. He was about six feet tall, with short brown hair and dark brown eyes. His skin was suntanned and dirty. Right now, his face was twisted into an expression of bewildered shock. I imagined our faces wore a similar expression. We all stood there for a while, too shocked to speak, until Charlotte tugged my arm again.

"Berba, he's real." She said. Riley let out a breath I hadn't realized he was holding.

"Thank God for that," he said, taking my hand again. I smiled, realizing that we wouldn't have to leave after all. Riley walked up to the man, bringing me along with him, and held out the hand I wasn't holding.

"Hi, I'm Riley," he said. "It's good to finally see another guy." The man shook his hand.

"I'm Joseph. You have no idea how good it feels to see another human being." His eyes flickered to me, then to Riley's and my entwined hands. Riley cleared his throat and said,

"It looks like we have some stories to share." As it turned out, we did. We all took our seats by the fire. Riley and I sat next to each other, his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist. Charlotte was sitting on the farthest cot finishing her dinner. The sun was just setting below the skyline of trees.

"You first," Riley said. Joseph smiled, his teeth blindingly white against his tanned skin.

"It's a long story, but I guess you have time." He glanced behind himself at the setting sun before continuing.

"I lived in Pennsylvania before the disease. My fiancée was pregnant, and we were going to get married a few months after the baby was due. I had a steady job at the walk- in dentist's office down the street from our apartment. My life was perfect. Then, DC got hit. Jamie was in Philadelphia at the time, getting little Evelyn checked out- she was at the eight month mark. I couldn't go. I had to work, and my cousin was visiting from Georgia.

That night, Philly was taken over. I woke up in the morning with a message on my phone from Jamie. She was crying, saying that she was too late, and that she loved me, that Evelyn loved me…" His voice broke at that.

"I didn't realize what had happened until my cousin told me about Philly. I showed him the message, and we ran that morning. We stayed in a pocket of undeveloped hills for a while, living off the land there. You can't imagine… you can't imagine how hard that was for me, leaving her there…" he stopped, unable to continue. After a second, though, he started to talk again.

"After about a month, we met one of them." He shuddered. "To make a long story short, I was the only one left standing. Since then, I haven't stayed in one place long enough to meet another one." He gazed into the blazing fire, engulfed in his story.

I could see his side perfectly; He didn't only lose everything and everyone he'd loved. He'd had the perfect life ahead of him, had worked so hard to get there, only to lose all hope of having his little American dream. I looked over at Charlotte, who was now asleep, and realized what we must look like to him. We were the family he never had.

"Your turn," Joe said with a grin, snapping out of his reverie.

"Of course," I said. "Riley and I had been dating for a while before the epidemic. We're both from Connecticut. Charlotte is my niece." Riley picked up where I left off without skipping a beat.

"Amber's mom had been in Chicago when… well, yeah… and her brother was in Denver… anyways, we took that as a sign. We saved Charlotte and ran for it right before DC. About a week and a half ago, we met a few stragglers. Charlotte's arm was injured, and Amber was knocked unconscious. Since then, we've been going about life as normal."

Joseph whistled softly when he finished. I laughed.

"As normal as it can get," I corrected. Riley started playing with a lock of my straight brown hair, distracting me. Joseph shook his head.

"You thought I was one of them, didn't you?" he asked. I laughed again.

"And what did you think we were? I could tell from your face that you didn't exactly expect some company." Joe smiled.

"I guess the only thing you can predict from life is that it will be… unpredictable." He answered, standing up. "Now, I haven't cleaned up in a while, and I saw a steam on my way here." He said. Riley nodded and said,

"It's all yours." The second Joseph was away from the cave, Riley pulled me up to him and kissed me. Through his lips, I could feel how amazed he was that Joe had found us. I was amazed, too, but that was lost sometime around when our lips connected. We kissed for a few seconds, then broke apart, breathing heavily. I rested my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Between finding Joe and the kiss, my head was spinning.

"What if there are more?" I breathed. Riley stroked my hair and said,

"I'm not leaving you or Charlotte for one second to find out." That wasn't what I had meant, but it caught my attention.

"It looks like we've found someone who might," I argued, always stubborn. Riley wrapped both arms around my waist and whispered in my ear,

"From what I've heard, Joseph won't be leaving civilization for a while." I sighed, but didn't press my case. I didn't want to fight with Riley tonight. Instead, I changed the subject.

"Where will I sleep tonight?" I asked. Riley frowned.

"On the cot, where you always do," he answered, his tone confused. I looked at him stubbornly, trying to be stern. Apparently, I wouldn't be able to avoid a fight.

"Riley," I said, looking him straight in the eyes, "I sleep on the cot every night. You and Joseph deserve a turn. I feel guilty for making you sleep on the ground. And I'll bet Joseph hasn't slept on something soft in forever." After a pause, Riley sighed.

"I'd feel guilty sleeping on something soft while you're left on the ground. Its just not right." He said.

"What if we both slept on the floor?" I mumbled, looking up at his face. For a moment, his face lit up in thought. I could tell he was picturing the same thing I was; slipping into sub-consciousness with his arms around me, then waking up to each other's touch. His expression quickly hardened though, becoming as stubborn as mine.

"I'm not letting some stranger steal my girlfriend's bed." He said, finalizing the subject. The corner of my mouth twitched up in a smile.

"What?" he asked, monitoring my expression.

"You haven't called me your girlfriend since before the disease," I explained playfully. He smiled too and said,

"That's because you've been so much more than that since we've been out here. To simply call you my girlfriend would be an understatement."

"I know," I sighed. I didn't think of Riley as simply my boyfriend now either. He was more like my other half, my soul mate, my destiny. But those sounded a little cheesy and obsessive when used in casual conversation.

There was a rustling in the bushes. I froze, but then I remembered Joseph. It was uncanny how quickly I'd forgotten about him, here with Riley when we were alone. Riley and I shifted into a more appropriate position for company, sitting cross-legged and facing each other. It felt so odd, with Charlotte asleep, to not be cradled in Riley's arms. Even with the generous alone time Joseph had given us, we had only kissed once, and we were barely touching now. Not that that kiss hadn't been… passionate… but if I had my way we would still be kissing. At that moment, Joseph entered the cave, looking a bit less scruffy.

"I feel much better now," he said, stretching his back. He took a deep breath and said, after a pause, "Look, I don't want to be a burden. There are a few more caves around this clearing. I can go find one of them to sleep in. when I wake up, I'll just come back here. It's no big deal." He smiled when he was done. I was taken off guard. I had not expected the conversation to take this particular turn. Riley recovered before I did.

"Alright," he said, "If you want that. But please, try to make yourself at home here. I would hate for you to feel… excluded. Yeah, I thought, heaven forbid any of us feel cut off from the rest of the world.

Joseph yawned, which had both of us yawning too (don't tell me you didn't just yawn). He chuckled.

"I guess I'll see you in the morning then." he said, turning with a wave to walk out the entrance.

"G'night," I mumbled, a second too late. I yawned again. Even though it seemed like eons ago, today's work hauling water from the stream had been tough. For a second I wondered what Joseph would think of our working schedule. Would he be appalled at the rigorous tasks we had set up to occupy ourselves? Would he refuse to do them? Or would he accept them without comment? I guessed I would find out tomorrow.

"Lets call it a night," Riley said after Joseph had left, taking my hand. Just this simple gesture of his palm on mine soothed me. I nodded.

"We'll certainly have plenty to sleep on," I mumbled. Riley laughed and scooped me up in his arms, kissing my forehead. His quiet humming filled the cave. I layed down on the cot and nestled in for the night. The last thought that ran through my head was, again, the thought of others…


	4. Call Me Crazy

Chapter 4: Call me Crazy…

Summer was ending. The welcoming green mountains around us were becoming speckled with orange and red clumps, the trees outside burning with the fiery brilliance of the turning leaves. The wind softly blew around our faces, tossing up stray locks of my hair. Riley and I sat on the rock outcrop, looking over the mountains and enjoying those last rays of sun. I was leaning into him, my feet curled under me. His arm was around my waist.

"Your hair matches the foliage nicely," he commented, playing with one of my brown locks. I smiled.

"The trees are beautiful," I said, looking out at the treetops. It was true. The gray and the shadows could infect the city, but not even the end of humanity could douse the flames in those leaves.

"You see that one over there?" he asked, pointing to a dull-orange maple just beginning to turn. "That one is my favorite. See, some trees are flashy, eye-catching. This one is eye-catching, too, but not in an obvious way. It's beautiful without even trying. I just can't get enough of the amber colored trees. They're stunning." I picked up a leaf fallen from a bright red tree next to us.

"You never know," I argued playfully, "There are a lot more trees in the forest that you haven't seen yet." I gestured around us. Riley smiled back at me.

"I don't need to see any others. All I ever will see is this one." He responded, tucking the lock of hair behind my ear. I laughed once.

"Said Romeo to Benvolio the night before he met Juliet!" I said, dropping the tree metaphor. Riley smiled again.

"Well this is different, then. I already have my Juliet." He answered simply.

"Am I really your Juliet?" I asked, flattered.

"Am I really your Romeo?" he answered.

"Always."

"Same answer." We gazed at each other for a minute, not feeling the need to talk. Finally, Riley kissed the top of my head and said, "We should get back to the cave." I didn't want to leave, but, knowing we had to, I let Riley help me up without comment. I didn't let go of his hand as we walked down the familiar path to the caves. When we got there, Joseph was playing tic-tac-toe in the dirt with Charlotte.

"I won again!" she cheered, drawing a line in the dirt with a twig.

"Getting outsmarted by a nine year old, Joe?" Riley joked. Joseph laughed.

"She's devious, that one." He said, shaking his head.

"Only the smartest," I chided. Joe moved to get up, but Charlotte grabbed his sleeve.

"C'mon, kid, I can't play forever." He said. Charlotte put on her puppy-dog face.

"Not even one more?" she asked, staring up at his face with big chibi eyes.

"Later, I promise." Joseph laughed. I thought about how easy he was to live with. These past few days hadn't been any different than the time before he had come here, if you don't count less work and a happier atmosphere as changes. He was always upbeat and infallibly eager to try any job we set out for him. Charlotte absolutely adored him, and spent a good deal of the day by his side. As he approached us now, though, his expression was oddly torn.

"Can I talk to you guys?" he asked quietly as he reached our side.

"Of course," Riley answered, "What's on your mind?" Joe looked over his shoulder at Charlotte and motioned towards the back of the cave. I was burning with curiosity to know what was going on, but I held my tongue. If Joseph didn't want to talk in front of Charlotte, I wouldn't push it. I would find out soon enough. My patience was rewarded when, after we were a respectable distance away from Charlotte, Joe turned around and whispered,

"I think I'm going crazy." Riley opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. His expression was just as confused as mine.

"Why?" I wondered aloud. Joseph sighed and started his monologue.

"Ever since I found you guys, I wondered if there were more people out there. I had accepted the fact that I was the last human on earth long ago, but realizing that I wasn't got me thinking. I started having dreams that more had survived. I imagined different voices when you talked. I started to believe we weren't alone. Today I was at the falls and, on the other side of the river, I saw someone. When I yelled at them, the sound of my voice was drowned out by the water. They went away. Call me crazy, but I think I saw a human."

We stared at him with dumbfounded expressions. I desperately wanted to believe that Joe wasn't crazy, that there could be another human out there, but I couldn't make that little negative voice in the back of my head shut up. Maybe Joe was crazy. After a year in hiding, we hadn't met one person. Why, all of a sudden, would we meet two in the span of five days? Was it our location? Or was it just good timing? No, such coincidences weren't real. Which was why this seemed so impossible. Insanity was easier to cope with than the crushed hope of survivors. So why did we still hope?

To me, faith and hope were like Siamese twins. You couldn't hope for something without faith that it would happen, and you couldn't have faith in something without hope that it was real. They went hand in hand. We hadn't asked for more when Joe had joined us, but it seemed like that was exactly what we were getting. I was letting myself get hopeful. I tried to focus on the "crazy" possibility, but my mind wouldn't settle. I tried chaining it down, but it didn't work. The chains fell off, and it flew away.

"What are we gonna do about it?" I asked, hoping for the brilliant explanation that had eluded me.

"If I left for a few days…" Joseph started. Riley cut him off, saying,

"You don't have to do that." Joseph continued as if Riley hadn't interrupted.

"I might be able to find them." He finished. I bit my lip. I really didn't want Joseph to leave, but the possibility of another human being hung in the air like a mist. The possibilities were so equal that it all really boiled down to one thing.

"If you want to, go. But don't feel like you have to for us." I said.

"Amber, I know what it feels like to be alone. I'm doing this for them, not to repay the debt that I owe you guys." Joe said. He shrugged. "Besides, if I had still been alone when I saw them, I would have definitely followed. I'm doing this to give them a family." He stood up and walked over to the side of the cave, picking up his bag.

"You're leaving now? I asked, confused and surprised. Joseph and Riley looked at me strangely.

"Why not?" Joe asked, "They might move away tonight. I'm not taking any chances." It was at that moment that I realized how much I wanted him to stay. All of my previous rationality and perspective vanished, replaced by childish desire.

Joseph's presence had been like… I couldn't describe it. Like we had been in a dark room with a broken flashlight, and Joseph had given us batteries. He was a reminder that we weren't alone; he was hope. Even though I had only spent a few days with him, I couldn't imagine him not being here. He might not come back, but if he did, he might not come alone. Double or nothing.

"Be safe," was all I could say. Joe smiled.

"I've done ok so far, haven't I?" he answered, shrugging, and with that last goodbye he left the cave. Riley slid his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I didn't react to his touch, didn't lean into him like I normally would. It felt like if I moved, I would collapse. We stared out at the spot Joseph had last been for a few minutes, until Charlotte asked,

"Where's Joey going?" I'd forgotten about her! How would I explain to her that her new best friend was out risking his life on a rescue mission for another human that may or may not exist? Riley, always more collected than I was, spoke up first.

"He's… exploring. He'll be back in about a week though, don't worry," he reassured. Charlotte's brow furrowed, but after a second she shrugged and mumbled,

"He still owes me a game."


End file.
